When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.
Don't write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error messages from our video recording.
When an IT person says s/he's coming right over, go for coffee. That way you won't be there when we need your password. It's nothing for us to remember 300 login passwords.
When IT Support sends you an e-mail with high importance, delete it at once. We're just testing.
When an IT person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and spill your problems right out. We don't even like eating food, we exist only to serve.
Send urgent e-mail all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.
When we do something as a favor in our own time at our own expense, feel free to criticize us.
That's OK, we don't expect you to lift anything or get under your desk. Manual labour was part of our IT degree.
When the photocopier doesn't work, call Computer Support. There's electronics in it.
When you're getting a NO DIAL TONE message at home, call Computer Support. We can fix your telephone line from here.
When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on an IT person's chair with no name, no phone number and no description of the problem. We love a challenge.
When an IT person tells you that computer screens don't have cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument.
When an IT person tells you that he'll be there shortly, reply in scathing tone of voice: "And just how many weeks do you mean by shortly?" That motivates us.
When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times. Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes. When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to all 68 printers in the company. One of them is bound to work.
Don't learn the proper name for anything technical. We know exactly what is meant by "my thingy blew up".
When you call someone in to fix a problem - but don't tell them about the other 10 problems until they physically arrive. That's OK - we can clear our schedule for the rest of the day.
Don't use on-line help. On-line help is for wimps.
When your application can't do what you want... blame us, we write all the software that runs on your PC and can customise it on the fly. Bill Gates lets us do this.
Remember the IT guy doesn't need to think - he has seen every problem before.
If the mouse cable keeps knocking down the framed picture of your dog, lift the computer and stuff the cable under it. Mouse cables were designed to have 20 kg of computer sitting on top of them.
If the space bar on your keyboard doesn't work, blame it on the mail/software/network upgrade. Keyboards are actually very happy with half a pound of muffin crumbs and nail clippings in them.
When you find an IT person on the phone, sit uninvited on the corner of their desk and stare at them until they hang up.
Feel perfectly free to say things like "I don't know nothing about that computer crap." We don't mind at all hearing our area of professional expertise referred to as crap.
When you need to change the toner cartridge in a printer, call IT Support. Changing a toner cartridge is an extremely complex task, and Hewlett-Packard recommends that it be performed only by a professional engineer with a Master's degree in nuclear physics.
When you think the network/e-mail/office application is going slow, call us as we have a button to press that makes it go back to it's normal speed.
When something's the matter with your computer, ask your secretary to call the help desk. We enjoy the challenge of having to deal with a third party who doesn't know about the problem.
The instant you call us (on our mobile) - we can see what's happening on your screen and can solve it instantaneously.
Be aware that IT people don't need to use the toilet. So you have a right to be upset if we don't answer the phone.
When you receive a 30MB movie file, send it to everyone as a mail attachment. We've got lots of disk space on that mail server.
When an IT person gets in the elevator pushing 100,000lbs worth of computer equipment on a cart, ask in a very loud voice, "Good grief, you take the elevator to go DOWN one floor?"
And finally, always remember.... we were sitting there waiting for your call.. The whole day!!!
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Thursday, August 6, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Cat catastrophe
So yesterday was a really long day. After working all day I headed over to Hollister. First thing I noticed when I walked in was a note on my sisters computer that basically said, "I made pasta, you may help yourself." Score!! #nom #nom. Ok but first things first. Let the cats go outside in the backyard so they could go around sniffing things, changed their food, and just generally made sure everything was good.
I noticed the front yard seemed a little dry so I figured I'd water the bushes and stuff. So I turn on the hose and start spraying everything down. All of a sudden I hear something. I looked closer and there was this orange cat that had been laying there. It was trying to get up but was very ill and could barely move.
I ended up calling the Hollister police department. They were really nice and sent someone over quickly. The girl who came there then contacted Animal Control. Soon, Animal Control arrived, determined that the cat was definitely very ill and took the cat away. I felt so bad for the cat. They had to gather the cat in a net. But it was the only way of dealing with it unfortunately. I'm pretty sure the Animal Control ended up putting the cat to sleep so it doesn't suffer any longer.
And that's pretty much all I have to say about it.
Type rest of the post here
I noticed the front yard seemed a little dry so I figured I'd water the bushes and stuff. So I turn on the hose and start spraying everything down. All of a sudden I hear something. I looked closer and there was this orange cat that had been laying there. It was trying to get up but was very ill and could barely move.
I ended up calling the Hollister police department. They were really nice and sent someone over quickly. The girl who came there then contacted Animal Control. Soon, Animal Control arrived, determined that the cat was definitely very ill and took the cat away. I felt so bad for the cat. They had to gather the cat in a net. But it was the only way of dealing with it unfortunately. I'm pretty sure the Animal Control ended up putting the cat to sleep so it doesn't suffer any longer.
And that's pretty much all I have to say about it.
Type rest of the post here
Friday, July 3, 2009
Toshiba T6800C
I almost forgot, I was being bored and just checking stuff out and stumbled and stumbled across this ancient artifact. It's a Toshiba T6800C. I'm not sure about the specs on it, but I think it used to run Windows 3.11. It has a detachable trackball that goes on the side. Wow!
...
Three Day Weekend
It's a 3 day weekend and I have the day off (it's Friday). So last night packed up a bunch of stuff and headed over to Hollister. Didn't sleep so good last night (I can never sleep well in a different place) but I woke up early and got a lot done. Mowed the lawn, washed my Dad's truck because it has been just sitting there, did a bunch of laundry, ate at Togo's and generally had a pretty peaceful day.
Of course cats + new iPhone means more videos. One of these days I will video something other than just cats, but for now here's Daphne cat enjoying a perfect sunny morning in her backyard.
and
I wish the Internet was a little faster here. First of all I am spoiled on my 16mb Comcast cable. Now it's not only lowly DSL, but it's heavily attenuated to boot so I'm barely getting a downstream of 384k. I mean, even 384 wouldn't be bad but I think it's even beyond that bandwidth at this point. But that's ok, I'll survive. That's it for now!
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Of course cats + new iPhone means more videos. One of these days I will video something other than just cats, but for now here's Daphne cat enjoying a perfect sunny morning in her backyard.
and
I wish the Internet was a little faster here. First of all I am spoiled on my 16mb Comcast cable. Now it's not only lowly DSL, but it's heavily attenuated to boot so I'm barely getting a downstream of 384k. I mean, even 384 wouldn't be bad but I think it's even beyond that bandwidth at this point. But that's ok, I'll survive. That's it for now!
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Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Sean in Hollister!
Today is the last day of June. I've decided to switch over from posting random meaningless technology posts to actually writing about what's happening in my life. I think the next few months will be fairly interesting so I figured I might as well post here for random bored people on the Internet to read.
So here's what's happening. I have been living on my own in an apartment in San Jose for many years. But things have changed. Tonight I will drop off my final rent check for the apartment I live in and put in my 30 day notice to leave as I am moving back to my parents house. No I am not a total loser who can't make it on his own and has to live with Mommy and Daddy. It's just that some things have come up where they won't be living here for awhile. So instead of driving all the way over here several times a week to take care of the house and pets, it just made sense to move here for awhile. This way everything is taken care of, I can save a few pennies and everyone is happy. And besides, it's only temporary.
Great,.. so now I'd like to introduce you to my friends:
Here's Muffin the cat
And Daphne the cat
Ok, so that's all I got for now. Stay tuned for more coming soon.
Type rest of the post here
So here's what's happening. I have been living on my own in an apartment in San Jose for many years. But things have changed. Tonight I will drop off my final rent check for the apartment I live in and put in my 30 day notice to leave as I am moving back to my parents house. No I am not a total loser who can't make it on his own and has to live with Mommy and Daddy. It's just that some things have come up where they won't be living here for awhile. So instead of driving all the way over here several times a week to take care of the house and pets, it just made sense to move here for awhile. This way everything is taken care of, I can save a few pennies and everyone is happy. And besides, it's only temporary.
Great,.. so now I'd like to introduce you to my friends:
Here's Muffin the cat
And Daphne the cat
Ok, so that's all I got for now. Stay tuned for more coming soon.
Type rest of the post here
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